A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club.
"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
Friday 10 July 2009
Friday 03 July 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do?"
"Let's have a look at him." says the vet. So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" asks the man.
"No, because he's really heavy," says the vet.
"Let's have a look at him." says the vet. So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" asks the man.
"No, because he's really heavy," says the vet.
Friday 26 June 2009
Friday 19 June 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
I have a very nervous guitar playing friend.
He’s always fretting about something.
He’s always fretting about something.
Friday 12 June 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
Sean Connery's agent calls him up and says: "Sean, I've got you an audition tomorrow morning about 10ish"
To which Sean replies "Tennish? I don't even have a racquet"
To which Sean replies "Tennish? I don't even have a racquet"
Friday 05 June 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
I took a beer bottle to the recycling centre, but they wouldn't take it.
They said: "This is the pint of no return.”
They said: "This is the pint of no return.”
Friday 29 May 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
What do you call a man with a number plate on his head?
Reg
What do you call a man with an odometer on his head?
Miles
Reg
What do you call a man with an odometer on his head?
Miles
Thursday 21 May 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
A lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins.
It was a turtle disaster.
***************************************************************
AND - because it's my BDay tomorrow....here's an old fave:
A man walks into a pub with a salmon under his arm.
He asks the barman, "Do you do fishcakes?
"The barman shakes his head.
"Shame", says the man, "It's his birthday".
It was a turtle disaster.
***************************************************************
AND - because it's my BDay tomorrow....here's an old fave:
A man walks into a pub with a salmon under his arm.
He asks the barman, "Do you do fishcakes?
"The barman shakes his head.
"Shame", says the man, "It's his birthday".
Friday 15 May 2009
Friday 08 May 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
Did you hear about the terrorist that tried to blow up a picnic?
His efforts were hampered.
His efforts were hampered.
Friday 01 May 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
Ok, so it’s current....
I gotta say, I'm finding all this talk about Swine Flu pretty boaring.
*************************
I just called the National Swine Flu helpline...
All I got was crackling.
I gotta say, I'm finding all this talk about Swine Flu pretty boaring.
*************************
I just called the National Swine Flu helpline...
All I got was crackling.
Friday 24 April 2009
Friday 17 April 2009
Thursday 09 April 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to piss off."
I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to piss off."
Friday 03 April 2009
Friday 27 March 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
I phoned the local builder today, I said to him 'Can I have a skip outside my house?'
He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'
He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'
Friday 20 March 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
Friday 13 March 2009
Friday 06 March 2009
Friday 27 February 2009
Friday 20 February 2009
Friday 13 February 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
How many hired hands does it take to change a light bulb?
Many.....because we all know that 'many hands make light work.'
Many.....because we all know that 'many hands make light work.'
Friday 06 February 2009
Friday 30 January 2009
Friday 23 January 2009
Foolish Friday Funny
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book
the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
Friday 16 January 2009
Friday 09 January 2009
Monday 05 January 2009
Geek Funny
(For the geeks I know)
I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.
1024×768.
I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.
1024×768.
Friday 19 December 2008
Foolish Friday Funny
Yesterday evening, I had to change a lightbulb.
A bit later on, I crossed the road and walked into a bar with an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman.
It was then that I realised my life was a big joke.
A bit later on, I crossed the road and walked into a bar with an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman.
It was then that I realised my life was a big joke.
Friday 12 December 2008
Foolish Friday Funny
How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a light bulb?
Let's go ride our bikes!
Let's go ride our bikes!
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